Saturday, March 14, 2009


I was eating some delicious corn tortilla chips the other day when I bit into one the wrong way and got a sharp corner to the gum. It was actually really painful and I had no idea a single chip could inflict such pain upon my poor unsuspecting gums. It led me to remember other fatgedies I've had.

I will first explain fatgedy to you all. It is a tragedy (like cutting your gum on a chip) done while eating fatty snacks. I have one particular fatgedy that I will share with you now...

I remember this one time when I really wanted to eat some tasty pizza. I brought it out of the oven and I was so excited to bite into the juicy, greasalicious cheese that I didn't even wait to see if the temperature was right. I bite in and immediately realized that my mouth was burning. I took the slice out of my mouth, but a small dollop of cheese dripped on my lip and burned joke. Within minutes a small sad blister formed on my lip and I had to admit to those brave enough to ask that I actually burned my mouth shoving pizza in it. It was sad, but funny all at the same time.

I'm sure the chip incident is not the first or the last fatgedy I will endure. It is a risk you take when eating such delicious things. I actually have a photo of this blister that I will try and track down for all of my dedicated readers. Please share your fatty stories with me. :)


Audra said...

I haven't had any good fatgedies lately, but I did bite into a very large staple in a slice of pizza when I was young (and still wearing braces). After spending too much time trying to convince the pizza place that I didn't plant the staple myself, they gave me a coupon for a free pizza in the future. Luckily no major damage was done to my mouth or my braces. Fatgedy averted.

Carolyn said...

I've actually had to pull out a dorito splinter from the roof of my mouth. How can someone chomp that hard?

...or what about when a piece of popcorn, instead of following gravity's logic, goes UP & lodges itself in your nasal airways. Then you end up snorting and huffing trying to get it out, thus perpetuating the body image you have of yourself, which is what spurred you to eat junk food to begin with and that ended in said fatgedies. And then the cycle continues..