Sunday, August 10, 2008

Angry Hobos

Most of the time I try not to interact with hobos that I think may be hostile. There are quite a few of them, so avoiding them is a skill all onto itself. The other day I was hanging out in a Dunkin Donuts, because that's what I do, when I saw this lady with a cart. She didn't look homeless outright because she was dressed somewhat normally, but her hair was pretty Britney Spears like and she was asking people for change, even though she had a brand new iced coffee in her creepy little hand.

As I was waiting for my delightful smoothie I made an effort to avoid her change requests because she was a bit nasty to those who turned her down. She happened to ask this man whose wife did not take kindly to crazy crazerson asking him for his change. The wife started talking out loud sort of to herself, sort of to everyone in the restaurant that this crazy lady needed to back off. In my normal passive aggressive ways I avoid the physical situation and walk over to the straw counter.

As I grab for my straw I see Crazy coming over to me, I think oh no what's she going to say to me? So I just take my straw give it a tap to break the seal and put it in my drink. Just as I finish Crazy comes over looks me right in eye, grabs about four straws (even though she already has a couple in her drink) and aggressively taps them just as I did, but with a lot more hositlity. She gives me a dirty look and then quickly goes back to her cart.

I couldn't stop laughing. I did nothing to her, I said nothing to her, yet I'm the one who got served straw style.

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