From high fashion to WTF...fashion?

When does fashion go over the line? When does high fashion turn to huh? fashion? I don't consider myself to be too fashionable. It's too much to keep up with and I have better things to do like keep up with old episodes of "I love Money," I mean "The Hills," I mean...okay I don't watch any quality TV, but it's still more interesting to me then wearing Pucci (Yes, Pucci, not Gucci).

Today I saw this girl walking down the street and I'm not sure I would call her high fashion, but she was making a statement, however, it was a statement that should've been made in 1984. From her shoes to her hair it was straight out of Square Pegs. I know she was being fashionable and hipster-y, but honestly even the hair was permed! She had on a cloth tight skirt a totally 80's top and some white ankle boots...am I missing something or was this a bad idea?

I get mixing trends up, but I just feel like when you go hair to toes it's overkill. I suppose this is why I don't work on Fashion Ave...oh wait I do. Well, I don't work IN fashion and there's probably many good reasons for that. One being that they probably don't take too kindly to squirrel shirts (I have one and I wear it and I like it).

P.S. I feel as though half-naked Tom Selleck on a phone that isn't plugged in is a good representation of the 80's.

Awkward...

I decided that I would title this blog awkward to speak about my own horrible awkwardness. I like to think I am a sociable person. I am outgoing, I don't really get too nervous in situations with new people, and I would like to think I can work a room. However, lurking underneath that fantastic (yes, I said fantastic) exterior is an completely awkward, mildly insecure person.

Now don't get me wrong. I do think positive things about myself and I know I am smart and not hideous and all that jazz, but still I can't help but question myself most of the time. I am not afflicted with such issues all day every day, but it really comes up when I am in dating or near dating situations or situations that could turn into dates or dating associates or anything to do with men actually.

Whenever I like someone I act like a moron. I'm sure this is that uncommon, but usually I can hide my awkwardness so that people don't realize it until it's too late. What causes me to be such a strange girl you ask? I like to blame my upbringing or maybe my sister, but I think it's all me. I make bad or inappropriate jokes, I get anxiety, I talk incessantly (yes, more then usual) and I get robotic in my movement because I am thinking about it so much. I wish I could just be normal, but unfortunately I'm not sure that's in my cards.

Perhaps some people like awkward ladies? I like awkward boys...not sure why but I do. Maybe I will just start watching Bridget Jones Diary over and over again and again until I know exactly what I shouldn't be doing. Oh no! What if I am Bridget Jones but younger...Perhaps I should just start drinking heavily so that I am drunk whenever I meet people and then I don't worry about it? I'll take suggestions...or dates.

Straighting...

So last night I went out with some work friends. These events are typically a bit awkward because most of the time you don't want to be "sociable" with your coworkers outside of the painful 9 hours a day you already spend with them, but I digress.

So we're sitting around drinking and the guy sitting next to me keeps texting someone. I knew he didn't have a girlfriend, so I wondered who else could possibly be all up in his business. Me, being the hilarious person that I am, made the unique joke about his bestie being his girlfriend and he replied, "basically." Then he laughed and said "we're straighting." Little did my coworking friend know, but he just inspired one whole blog dedicated to his witty response.

After hearing this term I decided I was going to steal it, but since I'm not Biden I will give credit where it is due (sorry Mr. Biden I will still vote for you). In case you didn't pick up on this in paragraph 1 straighting is when you have a same sex best friend who you talk to so much they might as well be your boyfriend. Although I wanted to make fun of my friend I knew that I was guilty of straighting as well.

My best friend in college and I were horrible straighters. We talked about 8 times a day. We were always at each other's apartments. We also really didn't make any decisions without consulting the other. I used to tell her I would be calling my boyfriend had I had one, but since I didn't I call her. I would say straighting is a great alternative to actual dating. No feelings, no weirdness, no jealousy, it's perfect...except for the lack of booty I suppose (I mean if you're into that sort of thing).

I would suggest straighting to anyone out there who is sick of the opposite sex or if you just like your bestie more than most of the boys/girls that you meet. Although your friends might think you're weird...or gay, they just don't understand the completely natural, oddly close relationship that warrants constant contact and confiding in your same-sex but totally straight best friend. And you know what they don't have to get it because you already have all you need.

Dedicated to Shan, my bestie.

On being dumb...

I can't believe it's been a month since my last blog...sorry folks or rather Audra, my only fabulous friend who reads this. ;) I have been pretty busy working a full time job, working a part time job, and trying to study for the GMAT. The GMAT, the very thing that brings me to the subject I shall write about this evening.

Being dumb is a many splendid thing. I feel as though when you are told your whole life by your parents that you are smart it is an an abrupt and painful process to learn that you are actually quite dumb. I feel betrayed, lied to, mocked...( I know these are redundant). My dad is a smart man, my sister is a smart lady, my mom is a smart mama, and they are also all liars. They all convinced me that I was smarter then all the rest of the kids, even the kids that got better grades then me. I wasn't at the top of my class because they tried harder, not because they were smarter. Ha!

Why do you put yourself down Julie? (This is what I assume you are asking me) And I say because public...it's true. As I study for the GMAT and read each painful line of sentence correction it all comes through loud and clear. I know NOTHING about the English language. Not only that, I also can't find an average, multiply a fraction, or discover a pattern in a group of numbers.

I wish I could blame it drugs or government testing, but sadly I have never been an addict or a test subject. I am just naturally this way I suppose. I didn't study in college, I didn't study in high school and this has all led to a blowing discovery at the ripe old age of 25 that I am a moron. Now, now I know that intelligence comes in many different packages. I am smart at people or common sense or something like that right? Wrong. I am completely and utterly average in every way. I think I am okay with it though. I mean I don't really have any other choice so I might as well accept it.

Fear not public this will not deter me from making everyone listen to my opinions, read my blog, or leaving hateful anti-Palin messages on my facebook status. I just want you to know, that i know, I am dumb. Thank you for reading this completely average blog.

Other people's funny...

Reading someone else's very funny blog has inspired me to get a little crazier with my blog. And by crazier I mean write about something other then hobos. So, I decided I would write about turning 25.

My birthday is on Saturday and I know, I am not that old, but I can't help but feel like I am. 25, is an age I just never saw myself at and I'm not quite sure why. The funny thing is I've been able to do some pretty amazing things in my short 25 years. I've gotten to travel, move away from where I grew up, have a career in what I thought would be my "dream job." I am successful I suppose, I have a great family, an alright love life (most of the time), and yet I feel like I am missing something. I'm sure what it is yet.

I know it's not unique to be unable to figure out what you want to do at age 25. Older people are always telling you that they didn't "find" themselves until they were at least __ (insert completely arbitrary age that is older than you, so that they can feel better about being older). Well I can safely say I "know" myself and I am confident in who I am, but it's more like something missing on the exterior. Maybe it's the lack of functional relationship or the lack of passion I have for what I am doing. I am trying to find that passion by going back to school for something I really love...which is helping people (I don't care how dumb that sounds).

Getting older is strange. We focus on these ages that we have passed and honestly I wouldn't want to go back in time for any of the great things (or shit things) I have lived through. I am scared, but also looking forward to growing older. I want to experience family life, own a house and be wiser. I was told by my friend at work that I have a good outlook on life. I think she can only say that because she doesn't know me all that well. I know I am cynical, but it is possible to be a closeted optimist?

If so, I think that I am. I love laughing at how seriously people take things. If everyone would just settle down a little bit maybe we could all chillax and look at the big picture. I know that I will look back on my time in New York is one of growth and good times. I am incredibly lucky to have been given so much in life. Thank you to everyone that has contributed (for good and for bad).

My mom doesn't read my blog (she does however read random other people's blogs), but if she did she would be able to read about how much I appreciate her and what she has taught me. When she dropped me off for college she told me that she wanted me to do something with my life as she didn't feel she had (I'm not sure if she still feels this way). Well, I want her to know that I admire how she has lived her life and she is the most unselfish woman I know and because of that I have learned and been given so much.

I know this a departure from my typical blogs, but getting older makes me more retrospective and deep (as you can see). Thanks for reading. Love and rockets.

Angry Hobos

Most of the time I try not to interact with hobos that I think may be hostile. There are quite a few of them, so avoiding them is a skill all onto itself. The other day I was hanging out in a Dunkin Donuts, because that's what I do, when I saw this lady with a cart. She didn't look homeless outright because she was dressed somewhat normally, but her hair was pretty Britney Spears like and she was asking people for change, even though she had a brand new iced coffee in her creepy little hand.

As I was waiting for my delightful smoothie I made an effort to avoid her change requests because she was a bit nasty to those who turned her down. She happened to ask this man whose wife did not take kindly to crazy crazerson asking him for his change. The wife started talking out loud sort of to herself, sort of to everyone in the restaurant that this crazy lady needed to back off. In my normal passive aggressive ways I avoid the physical situation and walk over to the straw counter.

As I grab for my straw I see Crazy coming over to me, I think oh no what's she going to say to me? So I just take my straw give it a tap to break the seal and put it in my drink. Just as I finish Crazy comes over looks me right in eye, grabs about four straws (even though she already has a couple in her drink) and aggressively taps them just as I did, but with a lot more hositlity. She gives me a dirty look and then quickly goes back to her cart.

I couldn't stop laughing. I did nothing to her, I said nothing to her, yet I'm the one who got served straw style.

Those Crafty Hobos

Today as I was walking to the subway from work today I saw a hobo with the craftiest sign. He was sitting near the fire hydrant on 34th street and I just happen to look down in time to read his cardboard box sign and wouldn't you know it said, "I'm like Obama. I want change." Get it? Ching ching change...

I thought to myself how inventive is he? It didn't make me want to give him any money, but it did make me laugh. Every once in a while you pass by those funny hobos. The ones with the witty sign or the inventive song and dance. If only they could channel that creativity into a job.

I know, I know not every hobo can probably get a job, but still.

So, I used google image and I put in the phrase "obama hobo," and this is the photo I got. The same hobo picture from my previous posts but with Hilary Clinton's face on it. I thought it was too funny not to add. Maybe if I see that same hobo with the sign tomorrow I'll ask if I can take a picture of him.