Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I Pee on Myself at least once a week

Yes, I do pee on myself, but on purpose!  It's not some weird sexy time thing or like an old person reaction to not getting to the bathroom on time.

The most recent way I peed on myself was while trying to squat at a Chipoltle bathroom and girls you understand that squatting is a VERY dangerous sport.

So there was already pee on the seat and I was trying to be fast because my friend was in line and I just didn't trust her, or anyone for that matter, to order a burrito of the caliber I need it to be.  I ain't paying $7 bucks for no corn salsa nonsense.  So I'm rushing, I see the pee on the seat and I say hey! I can squat this one out no biggie deals.

I go in for the kill and immediately realize I am peeing not only out of the bowl, but also down my pants and onto my shoes (only a little bit though).  I am also wearing large cuffed pants so there is a small amount of pee actually pooling in the damn cuff.

I stop the stream and take a seat, so now not only have I peed on my own pants but I am also sitting in someone else's pee.  As an OCD lady I was really freaking out.  This was just great, my pee on me, someone else's pee on me...grumble grumble grumble.  I get up dry myself off and dry to blot the pee on my pants.  Luckily I was not in such bad shape that I had to go home or anything and until my friend reads this blog she will not know this even happened.

Now for the majority of times I pee on myself it is mostly some combination of trying to squat or an unsafe stream caused by sitting back too far or something else.  It's usually just a little bit on the back of my pants or something that's easy to clean up, but I get so annoyed when I do this.  I often think to myself when I do this type of thing does this happen to other people?  Its got to!  But it probably doesn't...